When the Betrayed Spouse gets the blame for the affair

Someone in my family recently made a comment that “a man who is satisfied and happy with his wife will never cheat”. The comment was not directed towards my situation, but still a little piece of me died inside when I heard that.

My Wayward Husband blamed me on D-Day. He has apologized for that and says he knows that it his fault and his alone for his decision to cheat. Even some of his family tried to place the blame on me and wondered what I must have been doing wrong to make my Wayward Husband cheat.

I do know deep down that it is not my fault. Have I always been perfect in my marriage? No I haven’t. Any relationship will have its troubles and obstacles, that doesn’t mean you turn outside of your relationship and invite someone else into it. In fact, during the time he was cheating and I wasn’t aware of it, I was trying desperately to get him to open up to me and to be involved in our marriage and in the life we have built together.

I find it so unfair that oftentimes when someone cheats, people look to the person who was hurt and betrayed and try and find fault with them for somehow causing the affair.

I want reconciliation. I want my family to stay together if at all possible, but there are times when I wonder if I will ever be whole again. If maybe by staying together, I am only causing myself to live in perpetual pain.

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