My wife kept talking about love, and I felt that I was showing my wife true love by scheduling a marriage counseling session to understand her perspective. I believed that this affair could have been something that could have made our marriage stronger. I was doing all the research on moving past an affair. I didn’t know that I was a chump in doing all the work in saving the marriage.
In talking to a therapist, I learned that my reasoning was incorrect because I didn’t have a chance. The choice to save the marriage wasn’t up to me and that I can only control my actions. For as much as I want my wife to want it, I can’t want it for her.
I worked in retail and learned that customers who complain that say “I am never coming back to this store again,” always come back, again and again. The customers who really aren’t coming back again don’t say a word. They don’t care about letting you know. They know it doesn’t matter what we think. My walk away wife is the one who held onto resentment for 13 years, and as difficult as this was for me to believe, she wasn’t coming back.