Something that my ex wife said to me, over and over, was that her Affair Partner was 2% better than me.
It’s the 80/20 Rule. You have 80%, a life with your spouse and kids, homely comfort and family meals, but you look over to the 20% you don’t have. It’s so new and shiny and of course you want it because you don’t have it. But you give up the entire 80 for that little slice of 20 without even realizing everything you’ve lost for it until it’s said and done.
I had never heard this before but my husband and I were watching TV together several months ago, I was talking mad sh*t on the chick in the show for cheating on her husband when my husband hit me with the 80/20 rule. I was like damn, that’s sad. Hadn’t thought about it since until now. You gave up your nice big 80 for a shiny 20 you don’t even get to keep.
Get therapy, work on yourself and actually strive to change and improve yourself. Be a present father for your kids, be amicable in your co-parenting. There is nothing you can do to change what you have done to your wife and your family, so stand up, be a man and do the right things for the right reasons going forward.