This is going to sound horrible, but very often kids are used as leverage in divorce. They can be used as emotional “weapons”. “Do this or you won’t see your child.” type of thing. It’s horrible. You and your partner need to work together to avoid this. Use whatever love and affection is left in this relationship to cement a parenting partnership.
All I can advise is make the most of the time you spend with your kids. Show your partner that you are an amazing parent, and your kids would be missing out on a great relationship if you were kept out of their life. Your kids will always love you. Be there for them 🙂
When you do finally divorce and you’re spending time with your kids, make sure it’s quality time. Be careful not to lavish him with too many wonderful toys and gadgets, as that also can cause problems, because the other parent may think you are trying to “buy” your kid’s affection, which is definitely not the case (you just want to give your children the best of everything), but when parents split it can become a bit of a competition. I’m honestly not lecturing here, I’m just giving my opinion based on my own personal experience.
Talk with your partner. Now is the most important time to discuss child care/residency, finances, living arrangements. Don’t let this divorce turn toxic as that will help nobody, especially your kids. Talk to each other in a non-confrontational setting. Sit down as adults and come up with a plan about how you are going to tackle things together. Talk about future schools that you’d like your kids to go to, holiday arrangements, what you will both want if another partner is brought into the house. All important things to talk about.
Even during this awful time, communication is vital. Please, talk with each other.
Best wishes and good luck.