This quote is something I thought about a lot when I think about what my ex-wife was telling her friends and family. I remember her telling her friend that the reason she didn’t plan or celebrate my 40th birthday was that we didn’t celebrate her 30th birthday because she had sent out the invite from her corporate email.
What she didn’t see (or remember) is the work I did around that party, such as getting to the restaurant 45 minutes earlier to reserve the space, to working with the kitchen to store her 30th birthday cake, to ordering starters to share, to taking pictures, picking up the tab, etc. What my wife remembered was the fact that she sent out the invite from her corporate calendar. It never bothered me because it was her party and she had to spend time with all of her family and friends. She had fun, but I never knew that she held on to that resentment from the one thing she did on that party – sending out the invite.
In addition to this her and I had a birthday dinner, we had a celebration with my family, then went out to dinner with one of her couple friends to celebrate, the one with mine. We celebrated her 30th birthday 5 times, yet all she’ll remember and tell her friends is the one invite she sent out from her corporate email.
We always celebrated her birthday. From when we were engaged and had a family and friends dinner at La Famiglia in Smithtown, to last year at our family’s favorite restaurant. I have pictures and receipts from each year or our marriage. It took a little while to pull it all together, but it was proof that she lied and to not believe the gaslighting.
My ex-wife lied to her affair partner, family, and friends a number of times about a number of things, and I have the proof that she lied with pictures and video evidence of the truth. An affair is built around lies, and to keep it going wayward spouses will change the history of your relationship.
Never try and mess up someone’s life with a lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth.