People who get caught up in affairs act like they are addicts or on drugs. I don’t think they are in their right frame of mind. Those that are remorseful and are truly working through forgiveness are ashamed, disgusted, and can’t believe what they have done. Have you ever done something wrong, enjoyed it, got brought back to earth and realized WTF was I doing?
In my case I feel sorry for my wife that she compromised herself, morals, values, and ethics for nothing. For nothing of any tangible or real benefit. She lied to me, her kids, her parents, friends, coworkers, etc. to gain nothing. She hurt and damaged two families, for nothing. Not for love, money, or anything of value.
What she lost based on her behavior she will never get back. That’s how I get by, not by thinking about what she did to me, but how sad it is about what she did to herself. She will never get those things back. I can promise you if your significant other is serious about reconciliation, they feel like sh*t and beat themselves up daily. They are truly disgusted by what they have done.
Once out of the affair fog and the gravity of what happened actually hits them, the pain they caused, I can’t imagine anybody enjoying an experience that caused so much pain to others.
Always remember that the affair was not about you. It was about them not being mature enough to handle their issues in a positive way without hurting people. They acted and behaved like irresponsible children.
The affair was not about you. Don’t ever let that narrative become part of your story.