When people have affairs, it’s largely to fill the gaps they perceive they have with you. When my ex-wife connected with this man from Rochester, he never had to compete with me. All he needed to do was listen to her complain about your shortcomings and fill the gaps. That’s why affairs don’t last. I’ll never forget my ex-wife telling me, “Affair Partner” was just 2% better. I provided 98% of what my ex needed and wants. She dwells on the 2%. Complains to Affair Partner (and her family and friends, Affair Partner listens, Affair Partner provides whats needed. Now she is at 100%.
It gets real and Affair Partner needs to fill the whole 100%. Now she’s out of his league.
Another reason is this could be about her confidence and self-esteem. Whether true or not, my ex could have felt inferior in our relationship. Again, not necessarily anything that I did. Its just her lack of self-worth. So she finds a loser and all the sudden she is the smart one, successful, better looking, etc.