This is something I have heard from multiple therapists when it comes to my children learning (and understanding) what the reasons for our divorce was.
You know what’ll be your EX’s sobering moment? When she gets later on in life and looks at family, only to find that as her children were older, they understood who she was. Whether or not they will still want her in their life is neither here nor there, because at some point they will realize their mother stabbed their father in the back.
That will forever create an invisible wall between them that cannot be removed.