The term “Cake Eating” is defined as an attempt to take advantage of a situation that is wrong (ethics / morals) where the wayward spouse is seeking to have “the best of both worlds” without having to choose one or another. It’s known within the context of being married and having an affair partner on the side as, “having one’s cake and eating it too.” The affair partner is meeting some needs, the spouse others creating this “best of both worlds” situation.
In my life, my wife became pulled more and more towards her affair partner. During this time she was “blinded” to the me (spouse), who she was abandoning. All of her emotional needs were now being directed to her affair partner, and this emotional shift became more intensive each day. There is no way to balance the emotional connection so one person can love, or even connect to two people the same. One or the other within this “triangle” will suffer partial to full neglect, and in this case, for me, it was permanent, and I lost my wife…